Archive for May, 2014

You Melt My Heart

I am self-quarantining myself for a suspected case of HFMD–which means that since yesterday, I have not been able to: be in close proximity with my son Timothy, nor bathe him, nor sleep near him… In short, I shouldn’t breathe the same air he breathes. (…I might exaggerate a bit on that last point, but you get what I mean.)

Thankfully yesterday was a public holiday, and today my wonderful hubby took a leave from office to take care of Timo while I am being a useless invalid. (…That last point is also exaggerated. But the number of exaggerations in this post so far shows the present state of my mind :p)
So Timo has been mainly with his dad, and Hans is an awesome dad who makes Timo laugh all the time, but usually after some time Timo will get antsy and ask for me.

This time however, he has NOT asked for me, knowing that I’m sick and I can’t be near him. And just now after dinner (which we ate semi separately–they eat first and I start when they’re almost done), he came near me and smiled very sweetly. “Mama is Bombom, hehehe… Bombom!” (Bombom is his favorite stuffed dog’s name) then he moved to my other side and smiled again, “Bombom! Hehehehe” and then he went towards the bedroom and said:
“Mama I love you!”
Me: “I love you right up to the moon and back!”
“Mama good night!”
Me: “Good night sayang…”
“Mama cepet sembuh ya… (Mama get well soon)”
Me: “Yes dear sorry mama can’t sleep with you…”
“It’s okay mama…”
“Mama good night!”
And then peeking from behind our bedroom door, he blew me kisses.
Me: “Timo, mama will pray for you. Timo pray for mama too, ok?”
Me: “God bless you Timo….”
“God bless you mama…” (His first time saying this!)

This is actually not a rare occurrence because we say I love you’s a lot, but my heart was already breaking because I can’t hug him, or kiss him, or snuggle him, or do nose rubs with him… And seeing him bearing it so calmly and so unselfishly just melts my heart.

I am strict and can be annoyingly self-centered; like a 5-yo I get cranky when I don’t get enough sleep, and I want to get my way most of the time. But having a son has helped thaw me, and as I’ve said in a previous post, it seems that I learned so much more from him than him from me.

Being a mom can be busy, can be maddening, and most definitely is tiring; but the reward is–as VISA ads go–priceless beyond any treasure.

I love you, Timothy, and I thank God every day for the gift that is you. Please forgive this mama who doesn’t always behave her best… I can’t wait until I can hug and kiss you again.


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