The last time I went to visit my boyfriend, somehow I managed to get engaged.
I said “I managed” (instead of “we managed”) because of a theory I recently thought out. I hypothesized that:
- The culture we belong to influences our dating style (for the sake of simplicity, I made a Great Cultural Divide between West and East)
- Western guys (the bules) tend to resist falling in love; Eastern guys tend to find ‘the one’ fairly easily
- Eastern guys, however, after being in a relationship, tend to shy away from lifelong commitment; Western guys fall into that status fairly easily (provided they already found their lifemate)
I know a bule who dated an endless line of girls during high school and college, and resisted staying in a relationship for longer than 6 months. Then suddenly he met a wonderful girl, decided she’s his love of a lifetime, fought for her, overcame differences (and his allergy for ‘exclusive’ relationship), and off he married her. The chain of events seemed to go in an uninterrupted flow.
I also know a Chinese guy who dated his high-school sweetheart for 11 years, never experiencing on-and-off periods (like other puppy love couples), but still felt he’s not ready to commit himself to marriage. In the end the girl got tired of waiting for him and married another guy.
So, the next stage of my hypothesis goes as follows:
- Western guys stay in their boyish mindset UNTIL they meet their lifemate; only then would they start maturing up
- Eastern guys stay in their boyish mindset UNTIL they decide to get married; only then would they start maturing up
- (Although, to be honest, I never believe that boys can be anything other than boys
Going back to my opening statement: because I haven’t figured out the real reason both categories of guys decide to ‘take the next step’, I concluded that it must be due to some external force. In my case, the ‘external force’ would probably be me. Although what exactly did I do, I don’t know…
Ah… but all is well.