I did some reflection a few days ago, because of a friend’s entry on his blog.
High school was a milestone for me–like a tall lighthouse, unmistakable and impossible to miss. It doesn’t feel like four years. What I do, who I am now, I always compare it back to what I did, who I was. I had great friends, spent hours talking and sharing dreams, lending my ear and laughing without pretense; I fell helplessly in love, with all the cheesy dreams and silly flutters and involuntary blushes; I found me my truest best friend. They’re always close, those moments, I can almost touch it, but sometimes there’s a fear in me that someday they would slowly vanish and I’d only barely remember them.
What is it that ties me with them? I want to know, so I can take care of it, so I would not forget. We had parted ways, even more so now when everyone’s graduated. Everybody gets to know someone else, and then someone else, and suddenly there are so many strangers between us that we feel like strangers to each other. Is it a factor of our social circle, then? But I’ve been separated oceans away with some of them yet nothing’s changed.
Maybe the world changed us. Those days we stood as pure equals, and we saw each other in our true naked self. Now… do we still have our innocent eyes?
Am I just reminiscing too much? Am I fixated in the past, too much so that I can’t focus on my present, on what I have now? Is it true, that the best has already past, that I will never again experience those faithful, honest, naive, carefree days?
I walk on this boulevard, amidst showers of tiny yellow petals
The only road I’ve known, I walk with best friends and a free open smile
We walk together, but one day goodbyes were said
I never realized, that we’ve walked to a crossroads
I walk on, and they walk on, but we walk on different roads…
But I look back, and smiled
coz I still can see
the fluttering yellow petals
Then I look ahead, and smiled
coz in me I believe
That one day we will again walk together
with yellow petals under our feet, on this boulevard
the best one I’ve ever known
–loosely based on Boulevard of Broken Dreams, by Green Day
I walk on… through spring and summer, fall and winter…
One day I’m not alone anymore, and I walk on…
With him now, I walk through sand and snow, sun and rain…
Always remembering those who took their own different ways, I walk…
Dédié pour: ma meilleure amie (Always Love You), HaMiSeHe, et le garçon qui m’a donné une histoire magnifique, mon cher ami (YTT)
[I did some plagiarism here, my apologies to yung]