Going to watch The Incredibles tonight. Hoping it would be another great work from Pixar, although I’m currently craving for something serious and deep to watch… I guess I’m shit-deep in an existential conundrum right now.
A friend asked me last week what my purpose of life is, or whether or not I’ve found one. Told him that I haven’t found it yet, but for now I want to live my best for my loved ones, to be a worthy daughter, friend, sister, girlfriend… to be worthy of their love and to be able to give back the same kind of love. And I’ll keep looking for a life purpose.
But now, I don’t know anymore. It’s not like something happened to me, it’s just that my mind is a vast field of thick grey mist. I’m immobilized. Dazzled and confused.
Have you ever felt that way? Not knowing what you wanna do. Not even for a week ahead or a month ahead… I don’t know what I wanna do for the next hour!!!
Hmmm… maybe this is a syndrome of pre-graduation gloom ^__^ I, who am used to living by the hour, by impulse, I now have to make plans for the future. Hate it. I’m a total mess when it comes to organizing stuff. That’s why I will never make a good event planner. I don’t have the: 1) diligence, 2) persistence (to pry open the private shells of people, JUST to make sure they can attend), 3) organizedness, 4) sociableness (to be a smiley host that can rotate and make sure everybody’s happy)
HA! I think I’ll give up doing any event-organizer-stuff. I’m not bold enough to entice people to come anyways.
Well, gotta get going. Dragon River and The Incredibles tonight, CPU Trivia Game and dinner (and karaoke?) tomorrow, church (and studying Psych140 -_-“) Sunday…