When we're in pain, we know we exist, bcoz it's an arrow that shoots
straight to the heart, searing, blinding, maddening, inspiring… while
happiness is the very lightness of being, like feathery fluffy thing in
pastel almost too good to believe in.
Why is it so hard to believe in happiness? To make ourselves dedicate our lives for its pursuit?
We are cowards. We chose to be human, to be mortal, to be
earth-bound, to feel pain, because we can't believe in happiness. We
are too afraid to surrender. In pain we found a cocoon. justifying
ourselves that we should feel pain. In truth, the pulsating vibrating life of pain is there because we seek harder for happiness.
Only, we are too afraid to believe that we really deserve that happiness. We can't believe we can be freed from want.
In the end happiness eludes us. We bask in pain, ever wondering if happiness really wasn't meant for us.
I'm still wondering now.