Just got back from some blog-walking, taking a break from reading papers :p
Found a new nice personal blog by ijustwrite…. read a post and felt that I’m just like her:
She’s a Dutch girl writing in English. I’m an Indonesian girl writing in English.
She intended her blog to be personal, and I kinda did too (dunno how it works out now, though…. “hey ppl! are you out there reading my blog?”)
And like her, I was afraid of whatwouldotherpeoplethink….. or say.
So I guess this post will be dedicated to her coz she inspired me.
Why do I write in English if most of my audience and friends are Indonesian too, and I have (I think) pretty good grasp of Indonesian? Why risk being called a snob, a Westernized Asian, an elite-wannabe?
Well I don’t always write in English. And I…dunno… though I didn’t intend this blog to be public, somehow I ended putting up a tagboard, a guestmap, comment links, about-me-box, and a picture (which of course are screaming “Read me!!!”) …….. I didn’t want to flaunt who I am, but I guess deep down I want some recognition from others of what I did, and truthfully I’m quite proud of my little blog work =b (Is vanity the biggest sin of all?) ….but I’m digressing…
back to topic So what made me write in English? Well… as I said, I want some recognition and I want a bigger audience, and how else am I to do that but to write in English? ‘Coz, as she said, the “www” is a rendez-vous point for all the people in the world. And probably it’s coz if I write in Indonesian it would sound very casual and even more personal, and I don’t think I want that… so there.
Sometimes I feel bad coz I would write some stuff while feeling self-conscious and it would sound… fake. I don’t want this site to be an illusionary mirror of who I am, I want it to be a true reflection of my thoughts, my writing style, my words, my life.
So there are times when I’ll say, what the heck! and write my heart out without even making a transit stop at the brain.
… And I guess that’s when you’ll read some incoherent, rambling blogs like this one I just wrote…..
Phew! That was a pretty lengthy break… now I gotta get back to papers. Ciao!