Yesterday and today so cloudy puts me in “letter g”
My brain a lazy slug not looking so smug in the kingdom of boredom
In a stand still……
I guess that’s what i felt the whole yesterday. Don’t understand myself. I admit I got a bit pissed and I think it showed. Come to think abt it now, there’s nothing to be so worked out about. Should I apologize? or mention something? or just let it lay?
Just wrote emails. Weird, I felt uncomfortable with words. Felt uncomfortable with…dunno…the words just didn’t feel right. Is it my Indonesian getting rusty or my clumsiness for not having talked to them for so long? Or is it that I feel too far apart, too different from them that I strayed from the frequency we used to be together in? A mix of both, I guess. If they see me now, would they say I’ve changed? I have two, three irreconcilable worlds; when I’m in one the others feel unreal, like half-seen shadows beyond the sea. Would they still be them when I go home?
Just realized this morning that I have to stay at school until 6.30 for decal class. Just totally forgot about that. Malem kemaren baru diingetin harus ketemu Casey at 3 for ASP’s PR. Blah. Padahal tadinya pikir hari ini bisa pulang pagian. Well at least I did go to the gym this morning. Hm. I should stop checking the scales every morning and night. Doesn’t help with anything, and it’s not like I will lose weight in terms of hours. I think I’ll have to lose at least 4 pounds….AND I have to exercise….just hope I can steel my will long enough. Just don’t think a strict plan will work for me, better let it flow with each passing day.